Two Queens Gems in One Day - Something Bad is Going to Happen Soon!

Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden
http://www.bohemianhall.com/
29-19 24th Avenue
Astoria, New York 11102, U.S.A
Phone: (718)274-4925

After having a wonderful lunch at The Ranger I decided to go see one of my close friends at this beer place he's been telling me abo0ut for quite some time now. I had not gone up until this point because I'm not a big beer fan, I don't like to go out late (which means past 7pm) and I just thought it would be lame. But I hadn't seen this guy for awhile and I really wanted to catch up with him. Also, lately my palate as far as alcohol has changed somewhat as a good beer isn't as bad as I remember it from a few years back. I admit that I was somewhat concerned because some of the online reviews spoke about long lines at the front door and experiences of racism on the inside. Racism is something I already deal with everyday in my life and the last thing I want to do is experience even more when I go out to drink. How do I experience racism everyday you ask? I'm not sure - I'm probably just a paranoid guy who thinks other people are thinking racist things about me. I wish I could read peoples minds.

So I get on the GCP and proceed to get lost. Thank God my wife decided to stay home and drink wine and read Harry Potter. She would have had a field day reminding me how screwed up my internal compass is and that a real man wouldn't get lost nearly as much as I do and that I should just leave America and go back to where I came from. Anyway, I found the place and it was nothing like I expected. The place takes up like 1/2 or 1/3 of the block and just looks like a fortress. Its just this high concrete wall with no roof and two wooden castle like doors. Pretty cool. There was absolutely no line. Instead I gave my ID to these 2 guards and they put it in some scanning machine. My friend warned me that the machine was not working so well tonight so while I waited for the guards to scan my card I enjoyed their conversation about some freaky girl that apparently they both had the opportunity to enjoy some quality time with. Ahhhh, being a security guard - that s the life for me!

So I go into the place and its just rows and rows of picnic tables with people sitting together communally. I was amazed. It was loud but not overly loud. I mean, I would blow out my brains if I lived in one of the buildings across the street but to be on the inside was really nice. Everyone was just drinking and having a great time. It was like a big hippie commune. People singing and laughing and playing guitar. I found my friend and grabbed a seat next to his girlfriend. I proceeded to drink several beers over the next few hours. I think I tried 3 or 4 different types. At one point I asked him to bring me something 'dark and strange' because I like Guinesse and wanted to try something in that vein but that I couldn't easily get at a local bar in the city. It's really amazing that Queens has such a place and would really be worth it for any Manhattanite to come into Queens for this as I cant imagine Manhattan being able to accommodate such a location. In fact, according to their website they are the last remaining Outdoor Beer Garden in all of New York City. I had a lot of fun and my friend, one of the most generous people I know, covered all my drinks - he said each pitcher was $15. I don't drink beer, but he assures me that price is a steal compared to the city.


So overall, I highly recommend people checking this place out. Like I said, everyone was just having fun and acting very civil. It's good for singles or couples. I saw a lot of people who didn't seem to know each other prior to coming in just chatting and getting to know each other and unlike a crowded, horrible Manhattan bar, this place is big and open with plenty of space. I'm really happy to went and looking forward to going back again.

The Only Good Thing in Queens Besides Me

The Ranger Texas Barbecue at Legends
No Website
71-04 35th ave Jackson Heights, NY 11372
718-803-8244


So I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm an old man and I really don't like to leave the house much. However, every now and then I'll read something - usually / always food related - and decide to go find it. My wife comes along for these journies and it adds spice to our life and marriage. How pathetic does that sound? Well it isn't! Come talk to me after you've been married for almost 9 years and you'll be begging me for advice like this. The happily married couple is the one that goes and finds places to eat together and is content watching each other devour piles of meat. In fact, on the way to this place (it's only like 15 min from our house) we discussed nursing home arrangements when we get older. I told my wife we'd grow old together and die in the house we own now. We'll hire a nurse if need be. We're such a loving, happy couple. Probably have another 60 years or so together.

Anyway, I'm reading this book about Danny Meyer's life with regard to his restaurateur experiences and he mentioned that while researching Blue Smoke he checked out BBQ all over NYC and the country. He said that one of the few remaining authentic places with a real smoker was in Queens - called Pearsons. He said that they were forced to move at some point and now reside at the back of Legends Sports bar. So I checked online and although it seemed like some people said it was closed and when I called the number online it said it wasn't a working number, we decided a 15 min drive for potential awesome BBQ was worth it. It's Saturday and I already made my wife a cup of my world famous Saturday morning cappuccino that she cant get enough of. I'm such a good husband. She must feel so lucky to have me. I mean I would!

So we hop on the LIE, GCP and BQE and realize that not only is this a great way to get to Pearson's it is a great way to avoid all of the idiots who inhabit Jackson Heights and clog the streets. I love the fact that NYC and Queens specifically is such a mecca for immigrants but they seem to be converting the streets to an undrivable mess. But anyway, I found my wife in a neighborhood in that mess so I can't complain. I pass the bar the first time and my wife reminds me of what an idiot I am and how I have no compass. The anger builds inside. I can't wait to get a GPS unit for the car with my spirit points. I want to turn up the new Korn album I have in the CD player. Back on track we see the place and grab a spot right in front of the door. I'm awesome.



Go inside and a few people at the bar. People drinking at 2:30 pm on a Saturday. Again, I feel fortunate to have someone I love and a great home so that I don't have to slink off to a bar in the middle of the afternoon. I just sit at home on a different floor from my wife and get drunk off of wine while watching cooking shows saved on my DVR. At the back is the BBQ joint - and it's called The Ranger. Thats why I had such trouble finding it online - name change. Plenty of tables and we grab a seat. A very sweet older Hispanic woman greets us. She keeps calling my wife 'Mammi' and she loves that. My wife asks why I don't call her that and I explain how #1) that would creep me out and #2) it would sound so incredibly unsexy coming from me - I am neither romantic nor sexy

The place smells so good. We get some menus and decide to go with Diet Root Beers. Risky gamble cause Diet Root Beer usually sucks. This stuff is awesome. Saranac brand - great stuff and tastes like the real thing. Everything looks so good on the menu so. My wife decides to play one of those woman games and wants me to order first and then maybe she'll decide. I have a great gift where I can usually decide what to get in a place in about 30 seconds and my wife will take 30 minutes and then my dish is usually 100 times better and she makes me switch with her. So I tell her Im getting BBQ Brisket sandwich and that she should get BBQ pulled pork sandwich. I get an order of chili too. She wants an order of Buffalo Wings. While the food is cooking she notices a door behind the counter open and a cloud of white smoke with a wonderful smell billows out.

While I'm waiting for the food, I go over to the wall to read some newspaper reviews. The NYT reviewed BBQ places in NYC back in March 2007. They start the article off with an anecdote about The Ranger. Nice. They have another blurb deeper in the article about it. Good stuff to say - they said because it is so low key that maybe the food gets hurt a little bit by the low turnover. Whatever - we'll see. The wonderfully pleasant woman brings out our food. She drops a few 'Mi Amor' and 'Mammi' and I really like this woman.




The food is incredible. I've had Blue Smoke, R.U.B., Dinosaur BBQ, Daisy Mays cart and a few others. I've also eaten in Nashville. My wife makes her own pulled pork. I have some sense of what is good. This stuff is very good. The buns - Portuguese Rolls - are kinda unnecessary. They are good but too thin to stand up to this juicy meat. They get soggy fast and then taste horrible. I can eat this meat on its own. Her pulled pork is juicy and has a smoky flavor beyond anything I have ever had. A very distinct and robust smoky flavour. Like the wood is part of the meat. My brisket is tender and delicious with a pink line on the outside and then burnt rim on the perimeter. Even the wings are awesome. Just like I want them - fried I believe and then a sweet sauce. We asked for medium but we probably could have handled hot. But I didnt come here for those. The chili is probably the best I have EVER had. Generous amounts of cumin and an incredible beefy taste. Some token cheese on top which I mix in. The stuff is spicy and hot and just delicious.



I'm having such a good meal but I feel like we are missing something and if I dont speak up Ill regret it - I order BBQ Beef Short Ribs. I just want to taste them. They come out - thick hunks of beef on short ribs. They look prehistoric. I touch one with the fork and it feels super tender. Charred on the outside. I peel some meat out with just the fork. Burnt crust and tender succulent meat on the inside. My wife tries a knife and quickly sees that it is totally unnecessary as this is the most tender meat. It falls off the bone. The smoky, burnt meat is pure and perfect. By the way, I thought their BBQ sauce was just ok. Kinda thin and I'm happy they give it in its own container on the side.

We have a lot of food left but I'm done and decide to wrap it up. The woman must be a Mom because she is very disproving that we 'hardly' ate anything. Mom's are like that. I feel like Im going to burst. She wraps everything up for us and as I'm at the counter I ask about the smoker. She says how it is the only one of its kind in all of NYC. Then she sees that this excites me and asks if I want to see it. We go behind that door and there is this monster machine. She opens the door to it and that white smoke pours forth. Inside is all the meat rotating on the platforms. Chicken, beef, pork all happy and smoking away. It all looks so good. I'm happy we came. Total damage with tax was $51 - I'm sure this would have all cost close to if not over $100 in Manhattan. Funny how that works. I'm almost positive we'll be back.

The next big thing?

THE LITTLE OWL

http://thelittleowlnyc.com/
90 Bedford Street (corner of Bedford and Grove)
Phone: 212-741-4695

A few months back, I read something about The Little Owl and made a mental note to go there one day. I asked my wife a few times but she was never really interested. Finally yesterday (Thursday, 7/20/07) we decided we wanted to try a relatively inexpensive, casual place with really solid food. The Little Owl seemed to fit the bill and I even convinced my wife to endure the subway and cab ride over to the place.

I’ve lived in the city for the last 30 years but I still feel like I discover new places all the time. The cab from the West 4^th station to the restaurant (Grove and Bedford) took me through a neighborhood that I was pretty sure I hadn’t been though before. Tree lined, almost quaint feeling, it seemed separated from the rest of the city. The cab pulled up in front of the restaurant which is on the corner of the block. I think one of the streets here was a dead end which even added to the isolated, in-its-own-world feeling even more. Stepping inside, I was surprised by how very small the place was. It really was a neighborhood joint; the kind of place when I fantasize about having my own restaurant I imagine would it would look like. There was a small bar with room for maybe 4 or 5 people. There were maybe 10 tables or so. Everyone was in close quarters but it didn’t seem like anyone minded and it wasn’t the kind of unbearable crowdedness you normally find in some spots where people pack in to see and be seen.

The hostess pointed us to a small table near the window pass to the kitchen. My wife sat on the banquette and I faced the kitchen. The ceiling was painted gold and I have to think it was the original design up there. The gold trim carried throughout the place. Completing this was white washed wood paneling. A very comforting feeling to the place. The kitchen has 3 or 4 large windows that allow you to look in. I was complaining about the heat and humidity outside and in the subway, but it had to be like the Artic compared to what I saw in there. Small with a lot of people in very close quarters, a salamander blasting visible blue flames – they had to feel like they were in Hell in there cooking meals to make everyone happy.

We sat down and a friendly, female server came over. She gave us the menus and a wine list. She recommended that she had 1.5 bottles left of a very special Riesling and I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

I started with the sliders and she had the soft shell crab. The sliders were a combination of beef, veal and pork formed into a moist, little meatball. This was served on a small bun – maybe it was parmesan crusted. The meatballs were lightly sauced. Three of them – very good. Almost a meal in of itself. I was soon to realize that the portions here are very generous. The soft shell crab was also very good. A fresh taste of crab. Very juicy. Came on top of a tomato asparagus risotto. For our mains, I went with the pork chop and she got the crispy chicken with asparagus homefries, sherry and Dijon. My pork chop (and the sliders) was probably considered the signature dish or house specialty or most popular (whatever the case it was good). The chop came with pork chop parmesan butter beans and wild dandelion. Again, a nice large portion, well seasoned and very tasty. Her chicken was good, but as with many other places, it was just chicken. A good piece of well cooked, well flavored chicken.

For dessert, I went with a strawberry/rhubarb crisp and she a raspberry beignet (puffs of fried dough, hollow inside). The crisp was delicious- the perfect combination of sweet and tart. It had a very creamy vanilla gelato on top. Her beignets were served too hot. She couldn’t really eat them. She took one taste of my crisp and couldn’t stop after that. I think she eventually had a beignet and thought it was pretty good.

Overall, the place is out of the way and probably likes it that way. I could only wish I was so lucky to have a local place of that high quality. The staff was very nice and according to my friends, the price wasn’t bad. I was expecting something even cheaper, but again, this is NYC. With tax (but not tip) it was $143. 1/2 bottle of red, 1 glass riesling, 2 apps, 2 mains, 2 desserts and 2 coffees - I guess that's a good price. I didn’t mention above, but we finished with an espresso and cappuccino. Would I go back? I don’t think we would. Not because it was bad, it’s just that the city has so many great places and this one is so out of the way. Who knows though? Sometimes you just want a really solid, simple meal in a warm, friendly, unpretentious pace, sort of removed from the bustle of the city and this place definitely delivers in that respect.